eh

Everything is fine.

And I think that's the problem.

Yesterday, in brief: Awaken. Struggle to make new haircut comply with inner vision. Pack lunch. Fight morning traffic. Work 8 hours. Fight evening traffic. Kiss husband hello. Water plants and check on hummingbird feeder level. Try a new recipe for dinner. Settle onto the couch for "Deal or No Deal" and "LOST." Shriek uncontrollably during both shows. Walk around the park a few times. Have minor tiff with spouse. Resolve tiff with spouse. Examine face in mirror. Sleep.

I realize that some days have to be run-of-the-mill. I'm sure I wouldn't live very long if every day followed the script from an action flick.

But when things are 'How-are-you-today?-Just-Fine.," I have a tendency to fall into that ever-present yet always-dangerous terrority that my friend Heather and I dub the worse sin of all - "blah-ness."

I feel it festering under my skin, even as I do nothing about it. To make matters worse, I feel insecure about writing because I have convinced myself that no one (except maybe my mom) is interested in reading about my day-to-day. So I don't write, and in turn I cease to explore and discover the treasures that abound in my common world. It is a vicious cycle.

It could be that summer has arrived and the heat has microwaved my brain into mush, making it nearly impossible to have a deep thought. To riff on the summer metaphor a bit further (or is it a simile? See - I'm too lazy to Google it), my complacency is like the noonday sun, shining so hot and bright that it flattens my personal landscape into nothing more than a one-dimensional cardboard cut-out.

Oddly enough, I am calm, settled and very happy with the tangibles of my life. But I am sick of being unchallenged and unexamined. Too bad they don't make an energy drink for the mental sluggishness.